Happy New …

Happy New Year.

Happy resolutions and good intentions. Happy do-overs, happy clean slate, and happy, happy to us all. Oh, and happy hangover, if you rang in the new in that particular style.

Was 2008 good for you? I know for some it was, for some decidedly not. For me … eh, I’m still not quite sure. I loved my summer, but the year overall was somewhat – – dark, you could say. Issues. Stuff. You know.

Luckily, I also know there’s an important astrological reason for that. Now, I’m going to get quite semi-plausible and half-assed here, so work with me, but the idea is when you’ve reached my age (fortyish, let’s call it, and spare me your oh-but-you-don’t-look-a-day-over-thirtynine-and-a-half flattery) you get to experience Uranus opposition, Uranus half-return. That is, Uranus (and don’t giggle, now) is halfway back to where it had been in the heavens at the moment of your birth. That’s important, because the movements of these slow-moving outer planets sketch cycles of your life, cycles that begin at birth and complete when a circuit of the sun has been completed in full. Uranus circles the sun in 84 years, I understand; thus our Uranus cycle is an 84-year one, starting, peaking, declining and finishing up (or “returning”) in that time.

Well, you know what being in exactly the middle of a cycle portends, yes? That … it’s half-used-up. Half-way over, and where has it gone? How have you used it? What direction has it pointed in? Have you squandered it or ridden it up sufficiently? Because from now on, it’s all downhill, honey.

Or, yeah, not downhill really, but it feels that way, right? Hmmm. Or does it? Ahhhh – that’s what I need to sort out for myself. Personally, I love the tool of astrology. I won’t call myself a believer, a disciple, but even if all astrology offers is a metaphor, what a rich metaphor it is! This one feels particularly apt. The exact half-way point of a journey, the point of no return and the point where the overall direction has been definitively set. From now on, you can never do more than to equal the first half. And for the second half, you’ll be older, tireder! Greyer and more jaded!  Depleted!  Blah!

That’s one emotional reading, anyway. Oh but you know me: equally and overpoweringly optimistic AND logical. You’ve also got to factor in: for the first decade of that cycle, you – that is, I – that is, we – we aren’t in control of ourselves, our circumstances. For the second decade, we’re trying to grasp control, but mostly (speaking for myself anyway) failing. Enter the third decade, the twenties, and we’re getting control and the skill to use it, but still fumbling. So, the second half of the cycle – stay healthy, friends, and maybe we can really suck it dry.

I do feel optimistic that way, at least sort of, sometimes. But I’m still in the middle of this period, these months of struggling with an internal voice judging my accomplishments to date, my family life, my career, my artistic output and judging harshly. Judging my career a fizzle, my writing putrid, my painting hackish, my ceramics cloddish, my desires to mother thwarted. Judging my lifelong friendships stunted, because of my failure to really nourish them. Judging my romantic life catastrophic. And my sewing obsession unmentionable.

So that’s been my 2008. Part of it. And you? Has it been sweeter? Has it been a mix? Has it been tough?

Whatever it’s been, I hope you can kiss it goodbye with at least some tenderness.

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