I Lovehate Ikea

I do, I lovehate it with all my heart. I was in Ikea, for the second time this month[!] yesterday. My last visit was after accompanying Joel to the airport; Portland Ikea is the second Max stop outside the airport; it was all so civilized. {Of course, there’s the question of the competitive rudeness that seems to afflict all those Beaverton and Vantucky soccer moms when they get behind the wide-load carts and the cinnamon rolls are in sight, but that’s for another day, another post.} One fabulous purchase:

the GRILL PAN! What’s it actually called? Anyone know? In any case, it was $29 and worth every cent.

Tasty, baby! (Those are eggplant slices, by the way.)

After that visit, I found myself back strolling the halls of Flarg, or Norkthnopp, of the $3.99 Roklarp. The reason why, well, it’s a surprise, to be unveiled later amidst fanfare – but it let me contemplate:

Why I LoveHate Ikea

  • Hate. Consumerism. Buy buy buy. Buy some more, super-size it. Get two, they’re so cheap. Sheeesh, how can anyone possibly justify buying a $30 solvent-exhaling pressboard tabletop brand new when the ReBuilding Center has perfect wood doors rescued from the landfill?
  • Love. But the doors from the ReBuilding Center doors are too big, and cobwebby, and smell funny, and I’ll have to cut it to size, and sand it down, and I don’t have time, and it’ll cost $45 for a door there anyway.

Point: Hate wins this one as I remember I have a piece of heavy wood that will work perfectly well already at home.

  • Love. The dinged and damaged section. Look, a cool handtowel, discontinued, all cotton, $1.99, in that perfect shade of orange I can’t find elsewhere! I’ll take two!
  • Hate. Uh, don’t I have orange handtowels? Two, in fact?
  • Love. Yes. And they’re both too small, and they both stink.

Point: Love.

  • Love. Paper lampshades a la Noguchi! Affordably! No, they won’t last forever, but they’re paper and bamboo, so not too ecologically dastardly, and aren’t paper lampshades lovely?
  • Hate. Not really a la Noguchi then, are they? Aren’t they really more of a ghastly plagiarism of a great design that will only look suitable in a bong-smoke-filled dorm room? And get torn and fingerprinted immediately?

Point: Hate. But it was close.

  • Love: Product names.
  • Hate: Hate did not present a counterargument as of press time.

Point: Love.

This argument is NOT FINISHED, you know. The battle is NOT OVER. But one more thing in Ikea’s defence: I always get a call from someone I want to talk to in Ikea, and so Laurie, a shoutout to you. I’ll call again soon!

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5 thoughts on “I Lovehate Ikea

  1. not only did i miss out on the pdxPop show, i also missed out on the grill pan and all the deliciously grilled veggies? Man…..

  2. I still get a huge rush when I go to Ikea. It is like Disneyland for me. I always start out in the beginning of the store, and sometimes I take my time looking at everything, or I may start out at the Market Place( my favorite part of the store ) and getting closer to those cinnamon rolls by the minute ( another favorite ) All in all I have to say I love Ikea!

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